Blame It On The Pepsi Blue
by darth-trinity
Summary: PG for language. See title. Me and my friends have a sleepover, when 3 young elves show up. All hell breaks loose. Hot wiring cars, Kitchen Fires and trips to the ER? Well, that's what happens when teenage girls chug back God knows how many cans of Pepsi
1. I STILL LOVE YOU PIZZA MAN!

Blame It On The Pepsi Blue

Disclaimer: 

DT: I don't own it, so don't sue me.

Crenius: Kels, you have issues.

DT: Where the hell did you come from?

Crenius: I dunno.

DT: What, the blood sucking squirrels made you come?

Crenius: Yes.

DT: *rolls eyes* Whatever. I own me. That's it. Kapeesh?

Crenius: What does that word even mean?

DT: Meh.

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"So, what should we do now?" Nat asked her friends.

"I dunno. We need more pizza." Kelsey said, holding up an empty box.

"We've already had two!" GT informed her friend, rolling her eyes.

"...So?" Kelsey asked, picking up the phone. "Hello, yes, we'd like a large pepperoni lover please."

"I hope that hot guy delivers it again." Sam said.

"Ya, but he probably is scared to come back here now." Kelsey agreed.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Because he came to the door when GT was trying to skateboard down the stairs on an empty pizza box. And at the same time, you and Nat were having that run on sentence contest." Kelsey informed her friend.

"Oh." Sam said.

"On another note, who here agrees that we should stay up all night?" GT asked.

All the girls thrust their hands in the air.

"Wait, you DO remember what happened last time we tried to do that right Kels?" Sam asked.

"Oh ya. That." Kelsey said, recalling her Mom yelling at them at 5 am on New Years Day. "But my parents aren't here."

"Ya. When are they getting back anyway?" GT asked.

"Sunday. So I have three more days of freedom left." Kelsey answered.

"Okay. Soooo, what should we do now?" Kelsey asked.

"PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!" Nat yelled, throwing her pillow at Kelsey.

"THIS MEANS WAR!!!!!" Kelsey yelled, chasing Nat up the stairs with a pillow in hand.

Ten minutes later, each girl was in command of her own 'fort', with pillows and stuffed animals stockpiled under the blankets. The doorbell rang.

"If you steal my ammo, I'll claw your face off!" Kelsey yelled, struggling through the sea of pillows and stuffed animals that hadn't hit their targets to the door.

"Umm...One pepperoni lover." A very confused, very hot delivery guy said, holding out a pizza.

"Great. Here's your moolah. Buh bye!" Kelsey yelled, grabbing the pizza, stuffing some cash into the guys hand and slamming the door.

"You slammed the door in his face?!" Sam screeched indignantly, opening the door.

"I STILL LOVE YOU PIZZA MAN!!!" She yelled down the street.

"Sam you moron, you are aware that PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU?!!" Kelsey yelled, pulling her friend back into the room.

"Whatever. Let's eat some pizza!" Sam yelled, grabbing the box.

"Okay, so-" Kelsey began, but was interrupted by a loud crash from upstairs.

"What the hell was that?" Nat asked.

"I don't know. Let's check it out." Kelsey said, starting upstairs.

"Kels, how do you know it's safe?" Sam asked.

"I'll take my foil, it'll protect us." Kelsey said, grabbing the foil she used for fencing.

"Kels, you ARE aware that IT ISN'T EXACTLY A REAL SWORD?!!!!" Screeched Sam, amazed at her friend's stupidity.

"Meh." Kelsey said, walking upstairs.

She rounded a corner and saw a pile of figures, all with long blonde hair.

"Geez, you idiot, what did you do?" One of them said.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked, whipping her foil up into the en gaurd position.

"We have no clue. We were about to play the sweetest prank in history, but then we ended up here." One of them said.

"Who are you?" Kelsey asked.

"I'm Legolas, and this is Elladan and Elrohir." One of them said. "Where are we?"

"21st Century Earth. This is my house." Kelsey answered, hardly believing her luck.

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I know it was short but whatever. Review it okay? Sadly, me and my friends do act like that in real life.


	2. How the hell do we know how to hot wire ...

Blame It On The Pepsi Blue

CHAPTER 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own LOTR. Duh! Kelsey is mine, my friends own themselves. I also don't own any other brand names I may use.

YAY!!!! I finaly ot around to updating this one!!!!!!! But since I'm insane, and my TV has been temporarily disconnected, I'm going on an updating rampage.

TO RECAP: Elladan, Elrohir and Legolas land unexpectedly in a teenage fangirl's house when she has several of her friends over for a sleepover. Will all hell break loose? Well duh!

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"You live here?" Elladan asked, looking at Kelsey, who still was holding her foil, not caring that it wasn't actually a real sword.

"Yes." Kelsey answered.

"Do you have any parents?" Elrohir asked.

"Yep, but they left for a while. They said they needed a vacation from me after New Year's Eve." Kelsey answered cheerfully.

"Hey, isn't that what your father said that one time?" Legolas asked Elladan.

"Yup. Something about how tye dying his dresses wasn't proper." Elladan agreed.

"You tye dyed Elrond's dresses?" Kelsey asked.

"Yes. And how do you know my father?" Elladan asked.

"I don't really know him. I know of him though." Kelsey tried to explain.

"Riiiiiight, so where are we again?" Elrohir asked.

"Okay, you're in a place called Canada. It's the future, but in a different land. Does that make sense?" Kelsey asked.

"No." All three elves replied.

"Whatever." Kelsey said, rolling her eyes.

"KELSEY!!! SINCE WHEN DOES MY HAIRBRUSH NEED PEANUT BUTTER TO HELP UNTANGLE MY HAIR?!!!!!" Nat screeched upstairs.

"Uh oh." Kelsey squeaked, faintly remembering trashing her friend's hair brush while she was getting more pop.

Nat thundered upstairs, opening the door adn not noticing the three elves standing in the middle of the room.

"Um...GT did it?" Kelsey squeaked.

GT appeared behind Nat, followed by Sam, who had a peace sign scribbled on her forehead. 

"Oh shit." Kelsey muttered. "Back off you demons!!!!" She yelled, waving her foil.

Nat rolled her eyes and reached out to grab Kelsey's foil. She was promptly hit with it.

"Ow!" Nat yelled.

"See?!" Kelsey asked. "See why I come to school covered in bruises?!!!"

"Yes." Nat said. She noticed the elves behind her psycho friend for the first time. "Hey, who are they?"

"Elladan, Elrohir and Legolas." Kelsey explained.

"REALLY?!!!!!!!!!" Nat and GT screeched. Sam, who didn't drool over elves like the other girls, just rolled her eyes as her friends launched themselves at the young elves.

"Hey Legolas." Nat said, batting her eyelashes.

"Honestly, you know nothing of flirting." Sam advised from her spot leaning against the doorframe.

"Shut up!" Nat yelled back.

"And anyway, Legolas is MINE!!!!!" GT yelled, leaping at Nat.

"Hey!" Nat yelled back, fighting off the sugar charged insane teenage girl with her own sugar induced strength.

"Yo!!!! The two idiots who are totally sucking at fighting!!!" Kelsey yelled at her friends. When that didn't work, she shuffled through about 3 different sports bags before pulling a water bottle out of one of them. She dumped the contents on her friends. "YO!"

"What?" Nat asked, looking up with her hands still around GT's neck.

"My house, my rules. LEGOLAS IS MINE!!!!!" Kelsey yelled, jumping into the fight with her foil in hand, which was soon confiscated by Sam for fear of Kelsey poking out her eye. Sam leaped right into the whirl of fists however, just for the hell of it.

The three elves stood there and were seriously considering fleeing for their lives when they heard a loud scream from inside the whirl of fists, feet, claws and various curses.

"Ow!! You cut me you *censored*!!!!" Kelsey screeched, holding her arm.

"Hey! I'm sorry!" GT apologized. "It wasn't my fault!"

"It wasn't your fault?" Kelsey asked. "You're the one who dug your *censored* claws into my arm!!!!"

"Okay, before the two psychos kill each other *again*, lemme see your arm." Nat said, sadly being the sanest of all four girls.

"You touch anything, you die." Kelsey told her friend.

"Geez Kels, that's a really big cut. You should get it checked out." Nat commented.

"It'll be fine!" Kelsey argued. "It just needs a band aid."

"Kels you dumbass, it's like four inches long!" Nat pointed out.

"Okay, so it needs a really big band aid." Kelsey corrected herself.

"That's it, we're going to the ER." Sam said.

"But the doctors there scare me!" Kelsey whined.

"And why is that?" GT asked.

"They're creepy!!!" Kelsey explained. "Plus I know if I go, the same doctor will be there who's been there almost every time I've been there."

"Almost?" Nat asked.

"Well ya almost! It's not like he guy's gonna spend his whole life there!" Kelsey said as she rolled her eyes. "Okay, question. Even if I did agree to go to the ER, how would we get there? My parents were smart enough not to leave the car keys here this time."

"Um...Does anyone here know how to hot wire a car?" Nat asked.

Sam, Kelsey and GT all raised their hands.

"How the *censored* do you know how to hotwire a car?" Nat asked.

"Well, my parents left for a couple days, so I thought it was only appropriate that I have a sleepover..." GT began.

*********************************FLASHBACK**************************

GT, Sam and Kelsey were having a sleepover at GT's house. GT's parents were obviously no longer in the building, and would likely not be returning for a while. The house had been "redecorated" with paintballs, and it appeared that various parts of the kitchen had been set on fire. 

"GT DAMN IT, OUR ATTEMPTS TO MAKE CHOCOLATE HAVE FAILED!!!! WE HAVE TO GET MORE!!!!" Kelsey yelled up the stairs, as she put out the last of the kitchen fires.

"Kelsey you moron, how can you set milk, cocoa, and one helluva lotta sugar on fire that much?" GT asked as she ran down the stairs.

"I didn't know it was flammable!!!" Kelsey explained. "By the way, we had to disable the smoke alarm."

"Umm...GT?" Sam asked from where she was perched on top of a ladder fooling around with a smoke alarm.

"Ya, what the hell do you want?" GT asked.

"I think you may need a new smoke alarm." Sam said as she jumped down holding a mass of wires and burned plastic that had apparently once been a smoke alarm.

"You set the smoke alarm on fire?" GT asked.

"I only thought it appropriate way to destroy it." Sam explained.

"Geez guys, where can we find a new smoke alarm and sugar that is within walking distance?" GT asked.

"Says who we have to walk?" Kelsey asked, smiling evilly.

"My parents have the only set of car keys in the house."GT whined. 

Kelsey said a variety of things that would have made adults force a bar of soap into her mouth.

"Okay, does anyone here know how to hot wire a car?" Sam asked.

"I've tried several times, I almost got it once." Kelsey replied.

"Kels, wasn't that the time you set the engine of your parents car on fire?" GT asked.

"So?" Kelsey asked.

"Okay then, we hot wire the car. Where do we go?" Sam asked.

"Reddi Mart. They have smoke alarms." GT answered.

"You know this how?" Kelsey and Sam asked.

"What? You think I've never set a smoke alarm on fire before?" GT asked.

"True. Okay, let's hot wire this car." Kelsey said.

The girls ran out to GT's parents red convertible, (A/N: okay, so they don't really have one, I just thought I should add some details) and popped the hood.

"Okay, now lemme remember is it red wire to blue wire or the other way around?" Kelsey asked herself. (A/N: I don't know how to hot wire a car, I'm making this up).

"Kels, when you attempted to hot wire your parents car last time, which way did you do it?" Sam asked.

"Red to blue." Kelsey answered.

"Then connect the blue to the red." GT instructed.

Kelsey for once did as GT said, and the car's engine started.

"I GET TO DRIVE!!!!" Sam yelled, opening the door and diving into the driver's seat.

"Fiiiine, but I call the way back!!!!" Kelsey agreed.

"Gee, thanks, leave me with nothing." GT told her friends sarcastically.

"GT, you've driven this car before, we haven't!!" Sam and Kelsey yelled as one.

"True." GT agreed, climbing into the car.

The girls drove to Reddi Mart without major incident, unless running over on old man, then running over all nearby people so there wouldn't be any witnesses.

"Okay, GT, you find a smoke alarm, Kelsey and me will find the sugar." Sam instructed as she "parked" the car on top of a garbage can.

"Wait, we need to do this in style." Kelsey said, pulling three pairs of sunglasses and leather jackets out of the glove compartment. (A/N Don't ask how or why they were in the glove compartment.)

The girls walked into the store, where they split up and proceeded to "carry out their mission".

Sam and Kelsey grabbed just about everything containing sugar on the counter, and payed for it using the "borrowed" credit card which, again, had conveniently been in the glove compartment.

"Okay, I'm ready." GT said, holding up a smoke alarm that looked like it had been ripped out of a ceiling somewhere. 

"GT, did you steal the smoke alarm?" Sam asked, eyeing the hole in the ceiling.

"No. But let's go!" GT yelled, seeing that people were now looking at them.

Kelsey jumped into the driver's seat, and proceeded to peel out of the parking lot with such speed that it looked like the speedometer was going to explode.

They made it back to GT's house, which was a miracle, as Kelsey showed no indication of even touching the brake.

"Okay, how do I stop?" Kelsey asked as she neared GT's driveway.

"You use the brake!!!!!!!!" GT screamed.

"Question one: What's that? Question two: Where is it?" Kelsey askedas she turned into the driveway.

"The pedal!!!!!!!" Sam screeched as the car started going up the driveway.

"I am pressing the pedal!" Kelsey yelled.

"The other one!!!!!!!" Sam and GT screamed as the car crashed through the garage door.

Kelsey slammed her foot down just a little too late. "Ooooh. I get it." Kelsey said as the girls struggled to escape from the mass of wood and metal, which had previously been GT's garage door.

When the girls finaly managed to escape from the remains of the garage door, they faced the car crash that they had mamaged to create.

"Umm...Okay." Sam began. "We can probably clean this up before your parents get-" A car engine was heard behind them.

The girls turned around to see GT's parents get out of their car and stare at the mass of wood and what had apparently once been a car.

"I'll call your parents." GT's mom said.

"And that is how we know how to hot wire a car." Sam finnished.

"Okay, so then let's go." Nat said.

"But I don't wanna!!!" Kelsey protested, jumping up and down. "Plus, I'm not sure leaving three elves with no knowledge of 21st century earth is exactly the smartest idea?"

"Kels, since when are you concerned about being smart?" GT asked.

"Since I'm trying everything and anything to not go to the ER." Kelsey pointed out, waving her arm and splattering blood all over her wall. Seeing the shocked glances that her friends were giving her and her wall, she added, "don't worry, my parents have gotten used to it by now."

"Big surpise." Nat said sarcastically.

"Okay, so if you for some strange reason insist on going to the ER, what do we do with the elves?" Kelsey asked.

"We could lock 'em in a closet." Sam suggested.

"No!!! Elf hater!!!!" everyone else screamed back.

"Fiiiine." Sam said as she rolled her eyes.

"Why don't we take them with us?" GT asked.

"Sure," everyone else agreed.

"Why do I get the impression that I would rather be back at home, locked in my room for playing too many pranks?" All three elves asked.

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WHEEEE!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!!!! Review, Review, Review!!!! 


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